Bittersweet

From an email dated 28 October, 2013:

First off, HAPPY BIRTHDAY J & N!

second, HAPPY HALLOWEEN!! :) this week has been pretty crazy not gonna lie.
had my first baptism this past saturday! a wonderful woman named Sueli.
She's seriously a dream. I call her my Brasilera mai! & she calls me her *filha
brinca *haha, her white child! Which Im like, cool! haha

Anyway, shes amazing. And it was definitely a wonderful baptism. Did a
special musical number (which I sucked at majorly but whatevs!)

(oh & I wanna apologize if my email last week was random, weird or
strong... haha didnt have time to proofread it, but I promise this emails
better!)

As far as other things go, this week has been bittersweet to say the least.
Found so many wonderful people to teach, in addition to a young *rapaz *named
Chezekiyah (yeah I know.... but if you met his dad you wouldnt really be
surprised with the name choice haha)

Today though, we found out that the mother of a sister in our mission
passed away last night suddenly. So you can imagine whats been going
through my mind today.

When I first found out, the entire morning I was in tears. Thats definitely
my greatest fear ever, but especially on the mission. The sister has
decided not to go home, since she wont be able to come back on the mission.
A terrible thought came to my mind that Im not sure I could be that strong
to do the same.... as soon as I heard about it, I instantly wanted to see
you all. To hug you all. I *never *felt as homesick for each of you, mom
you especially.

And thats lead me to this thought:
This life is so temporary. This moment, this year & a half, this *lifetime *is
only an infinitesimal, unnoticable, drop in the ocean of eternity. And with
that being said, its even *more *vital for all of us to say "I love you"
more, to say "I miss you" more, and not only that but *show* it more. As
Pres Monson quoted shakespeare "they do not love that do not *show* their
love"

Please PLEASE this week, make it a habit to show your love to each other.
Through little acts of service, little acts of affection & kindness & words
of comfort and uplifting words of encouragment. This life is *so SO brief. *

If, heaven forbid, something were to happen, you can rest assure that the
last thing you did or said to a brother, sister, mother, father, aunt or
uncle, son or daughter, were words of love.


Another thought, when it comes to faith through hard times:

When I 1st got to Brazil, my portuguese was very weak. & I told myself I
wouldnt say much, only things Id memorized or I knew were correct. I
wouldnt risk embarrassing myself by saying something wrong & only *after *Id
studied for a period of time *then *Id converse more. Well, yall, the Lord
doesnt work that way. Its only *after* we try. After we make a "leap of
faith" after weve taken a calculated risk & take  the first few steps into
the darkness will the Lord add uponmore light for our pathway. So is the
same with faith. Just as we will never find a light switch in a darkened
room unless we take the steps to search for it, so too we will never find
the faith to light our own lives unless we move forward into the dark
unknown. Unless we reach for our Savior &we find that His hand has alreayd
been outstretched waiting for us to take His.

Love you all so much! Happy Halloween & Happy birthday J & N!


MISS YALL!
xoxo

Never Give Up, Never Surrender

From an email dated 21 October, 2013:

Ahhh Halloween is just around the corner & Im seriously having a hankering for Galaxy Quest yall...

Alex where are you going?

To see if theres a pub!!!

Ahhh good times. However, jokes & brincadeiras aside this has been quite a week for me & my comp Sis Cassiano. I dont honestly know where to begin but let me say this, to quote from a very fav movie of mine:

Some dreams you have to fight to come true.

Well, some miracles you have to fight to make happen.

Our young rapazes (or young men) investigators have really been giving us heartache & grief. One of them, Daniel, was stoked to attend Sacrament meeting yesterday & we 2 other people accepted our invite. So when we walked the 45 minutes to their apt complex, one of them didnt answer his cell (as per usual) & the other one was stuck one (Daniel) was stuck on the fact that we couldnt attend his church. 

Well bro, theres a lil white handbook that specifically states we cant out of respect for other religions. Just as we dont like it when protesters & weirdies stand outside our temple gates were not gonna go offend people of other religions. Well he straight up rejected us when less than 24 hrs he was pumped to come to sacrament.

Sis Cassiano broke down into tears & I held her as she cried & composed herself.

Well, this had kind of been the last straw for me, I'll say. 

I remembered the feelings of resentment & anger that swept over me. Did these people have no idea how much we sacrificed for them? We walk miles & miles to teach them a 30 minute lesson, theyre constantly in our prayers, we cry for them, we weep for them, we rejoice with them, we even give them food when they have nothing & this is how they repay us? 

Oh it was so easy to be angry. So easy to sink into despair & grief over these 2 boys. 

I did not leave my family, my friends, my language, my culture, my home, my neices & nephews Id give my life for, if I didnt know this church, this gospel is true....

I did not travel 3000 miles to a strange country, to a strange culture, to a strange language, where I know no one if I didntknow that this is same church that was established when Christ was on the earth

& I did not leave my dreams, my wishes, my hopes & aspirations folded in a drawer if I didnt know without a shadow of a doubt that this Christ lives & that this is his restored gospel. 

NO. Im not giving 18 months of my life to a false dream. Im not. 

But then I remembered, when I & my comp are rejected, to remember that someone else who was a lot better was rejected, despised, spit upon & suffered every kind of pain & excruciating thing imaginable.

Our Savior is real. He is painfully aware of us. And he will NEVER forget us. May we NEVER forget him in return. Its so easy for us to forget Him, how often do we? 

So family & friends remember Him more this week. May we not reject the truths we know & we have clung to all this time. 

Love yall so much!!!!

xoxo

Sister VerHoef

Sister Barbie

 

As the title suggests.... I have a new NICKNAME which I'm not exactly a huge fan of.... haha not gonna lie. When I was in the MTC a lot of the hispanic sisters would call me Sister Barbie but I kinda just thought it was because they'd never seen an American before or a person with blue eyes. EH. nope. haha

everyone told me Londrina has a good mix of dark skinned and light skinned folks & that Id blend right in! Well whoever gave me that information was sorely mistaken. I dunno what it is about it here or if its just Brazil in general but the homems or men here have absolutely no shame in blatantly STARING at me. And the moças or women are really no different.

Shouldve dyed my hair black before coming out here... then again my nickname prolly wouldve been Katy Perry & I honestly dont know which is worse! hahaha oh well. Gotta laugh right? 

Anyway, had my first zone conference which was much needed. Not gonna lie, true to my self, I end up making an idiot of myself again. Haha Pres G called on me randomly to give a comment & I fumbled through my horrible Portuguese painfully aware of the stares of other missionaries who have no prob with their Portuguese. So embarrassing! But whatevs. I provide comic relief, so its all good.

Afterwards we watched 17 Miracles (or 17 Milagres) and it was pretty good. Theres a song they used in there that I absolutely loved--calledSavior Redeemer of My Soul. Seriously AMAZING. Honestly, BJ, Mom look it up! 

Wont lie to you, this week has had its ups & downs as Im sure most missions do right? Even in a single day I can go from higher than the atmosphere & then back down again in a ditch as far as my mood goes. I have a feeling once the language gets better I'll be more comfortable in my own skin. 

Did have a wonderful experience at church yesterday. Theres a young rapaz or young man named L whos very interested in the church & he came to sacrament yesterday & I invited him to be baptized!!! Freakin awesome because he accepted! :) it was great. 

Other than that not much has happened. Wanted to share with yall an excerpt from my journal if ya dont mind.

Im sitting in gospel principles after commenting in my broken portuguese about eternal marriage. The teacher started saying something else & something thats never happened before happened. I thought about every particle every aspect every thing in the Gospel & I felt so deeply all of a sudden--a vibration or an echo in my bones like after a triangle has been struck during a song. & I knew--I knew with tears in my eyes that this Gospel is true. Almost as if I could see a part of heaven--as if a strong wind blew up part of the curtain that separates us from the other side. I adore this religion & I cannot deny the validity & truthfullness of this Gospel.

Love you all so very much!!! 

oh by the way, my address is 

Brazil Londrina Mission

Rua Higienopolis 1100 Sala 61

86020-911 Londrina-PR

Brazil 

:) spread the word! letters make my week SERIOUSLY. especially for the next little bit. please keep me in your prayers, because youre constantly in mine.

oh & my pdays are always on mondays :)

xoxo

Dazed & Confused

OI!! Familia e amigos!

Yes I am in Londrina & no as of yet I have not contracted an incurable parasite or gotten mugged... but it's only 2:30 here so I wont hold my breath haha. K, so much has happened & what they say about the mission is correct. The weeks feel like days & the days feel like weeks. 

First off, I had a 3:30 launch from the CTM to the airport & then to Londrina. Longest freaking day of my life not gonna lie.... haha barely made it through the day without falling asleep midsentence but it was all good. I did have some HUGE reservations & fears but they all melted away as soon as I saw Pres & Sis Genaro with a hord of other missionaries waving a huge banner with LONDRINA BRAZIL MISSION plastered on the front. Muito bom :) 

Second, the CTM/MTC really doesn't do a very good job preparing you for the real life investigators you teach. For example, no one ever told me about sitting on a couch in something that probably wasnt water trying to get through a prayer in portuguese while 2 kids are playing with your comps camera taking pics during the entire lesson. But whatevs brosefus. All is well. 

Another thing is I've NEVER seen this kind of poverty than I have here. Everyone told me its a rich area here & there are some areas that are nice. However, I will say, the other day I saw 3 kids eating toothpaste surrounding by maggots.... yeah. Definitely makes you stop & think. 

But on the brighter side I have provided some comic relief to my zone :) For our zone conference each mish got up & introduced themselves & I definitely got up & said "Elder VerHoef" 

hashtag-facepalm

seriously??? Elder VerHoef?? Gah. So is my life! haha it was pretty funny. Another embarrassing moment was when I walked for 2 blocks down the streets of Londrina with my SKIRT caught in my G'S!!

Ahhhh.. I love it. haha

Something I've noticed here is that there aren't that many lighter skinned people here which is great but I get stared at A LOT. Not sure if its cause I'm wearing a skirt with a plaqueta everyday or if its blatantly obvious Im american or if the Brasileros have never seen blue eyes before... either way its quite unsettling haha. Been called Barbie Reese Witherspoon & Taylor Swift. In addition to the language & culture adaptation Im having an identity crisis!!! Who am I?? Im Jean Valjean! haha jk jk brincaderia ;) 

Anyway, its been a good week. Lots of high highs & low lows. Frustrated because I thought I knew more portuguese & I get here & I feel like a deaf person.... but in 6 weeks Im sure itll be better. 

Wanted to share a quote from an elder in the CTM that has really helped me this week. It goes like this:

"You can have sacred revelatory profound instructive experiences with the Lord in the most miserable experiences of your life----in the worst settings while enduring the most painful injustices when facing the most insurmountable odds & oppositions youve ever faced. In one way or another great or small dramatic or incidental every one of us is going to spend a little time in Liberty Jail. The lessons of the winter of 1838-1839 teach us that every experience can become a redemptive experience if we remain bonded to our Father in HEaven through it. These difficult lessons will teach us that mans extremity is Gods opportunity & if we will be humble and faithful and not curse God for our problems He can turn the unfair & inhumane prisons of our lives into temples."

Love you all so very much.