Our Savior's Love

So have I mentioned that Our Saviors Love is my favorite church song right now? Just listen to the motab sing it. Do it. Right now. I promise you wont be disappointed. :) 

Anyway, hello dear friends & family! Today is transfers & me & sister j will be staying in Antares for yet another 6 weeks.... 

So much has happened this week, good spiritual experiences, and feelings of inadequacy and failure in regards to numbers of baptisms and people at church. This has been Sunday number 3 with not a single investigator at church, even when we worked our freaking butts off this week. So much so, that from my back to the bottoms of my toes were sore and stinging from walking constantly for 7 hours 6 days in a row. 

Well, you can imagine how I felt during church sitting next to Sister J in fast & testimony, and none of our beloved investigators was sitting next to us. It was is if the despair and failure hit me like a 40 foot wave. I have been struggling with feelings of failure & inadequacy with my leaders especially. I dont care what other missionaries think of me, I really dont. But I know my District Leader talks to my Zone Leaders who talk to the Assistants who talk to President G.... There are only 2 people in this mission I want to please, and that is 

1.) The Lord

2.) President G

And I have just been really fighting these thoughts that Im a terrible missionary for not having any body at church, and thereby having no one to baptize the following semana (week). 

Im learning how to kneel every night in prayer and how all of my fasts that Ive been doing is asking Heavenly Father for a confirmation that I'm doing my absolute best and that He is proud of me and my work, and that Im being the missionary that He wants me to be. 

But in listening to Our Saviors Love today, some of the lyrics hit me pretty hard:

Our Savior's love

Shines like the sun with perfect light,

As from above

It breaks thru clouds of strife.

Lighting our way,

It leads us back into his sight,

Where we may stay

To share eternal life.

The Spirit, voice

Of goodness, whispers to our hearts

A better choice

Than evil's anguished cries.

Loud may the sound

Of hope ring till all doubt departs,

And we are bound

To him by loving ties.

Our Saviors love is absolutely perfect even when we are not. I know He lives. I know that the greatest miracles come after our greatest trials. And I know that He will never give us anything that we cant handle. Sister J told me that the Lord gives us trials because He trusts us. Apparently, Im a pretty trustworthy person. :) Love yall so much! I promise Im okay, but just continue to keep me in your prayers! 

xoxo

Sister VerHoef